One-sided phone conversations

[shimp scrampi]

I was watching some of the Bob Newhart shows that came out on DVD recently, and they use a lot of Bob's famous "one-sided" phone conversations where the audience fills in the info on the unheard part of the conversations.

Jack used these to great effect - I think it's part of why the Benny show holds up so well, you need to think a bit, imagine, and fill in a lot of the gags with your own brainpower.

What are your favorite one-sided phone conversations from the Benny show?

Here's a current favorite of mine. Mary's on the phone with Babe, we only hear Mary.

Mary: Babe, what's that? You don't want to come to the show because you're mad at Phil Harris? Oh, no, that's ridiculous. I don't think he's referring to you when he sings about "The Thing". What's that? Your picture's on the music?!

[TheSportsmenQuartet]

Jack is talking to his sponsor about firing the Sportsmen:

"But........but.............but..........but..........but...........but.......but.............................................................but..................................................................but.........................but...but...but.................but"

CLASSIC!!

[Gerry O.]

Jack did a somewhat risque one-sided phone bit on a 1942 Jell-O program (with Ann Sheridan as guest)....

The show is supposed to be taking place at the Warner Bros. studios, where Jack is making his latest film with Ann Sheridan. Jack is using Errol Flynn's dressing room, because Flynn is home with a bad cold.

During this time, Flynn had a notorious real-life reputation as a wild guy who had various sexual escapades (and scandals) with numerous women.

On Jack's show, different women keep calling the dressing room, expecting to get Flynn, but getting Benny instead. One girl calls up and Jack says, "No, I'm sorry Miss, but Mr. Flynn is in bed with a cold....a COLD!"

The long pause before Jack repeats "...a COLD!" is hilarious and very suggestive...and the studio audience picks right up on it! (The gag gets a long, "dirty" laugh from the crowd!)

[shimp scrampi]

Hey, what happened to this thread, it looks like it's written on Don Wilson's waistband!

[Clyde]

One of my favorite 'one-sided telephone conversations'
was a running gag through the show of November 10, 1940. Jack wants the premiere of "Love Thy Neighbor" to be in Waukegan. Jack talks with the head of production, Mr. LaBarron. ".....yes, I did tell Mark Sandrich I want the premiere held in Waukegan.....sure but....sure....now look.....(Don interrupts..."You better sing, Dennis. Looks like a long winter").

[Gerry O.]

Hey, what happened to this thread, it looks like it's written on Don Wilson's waistband!

You're just looking at the "widescreen" version!

[bboswell]

I may be getting a few different programs mixed up, but one that stands out to me was where Jack kept getting congratulatory calls for his first television show. He would always answer in a sing-song voice:

"Hello-ooo... Yes... Thank you, thanks very much. Good byy-yyye"

and then one time the phone rings and...

"Hello-ooo... Yes... I PAID THAT YESTERDAY!!!"

[Alan]

I am a big fan of Newhart audio comedy...even before i "discovered" JB about 4-5 years ago

I hadn't realized the JB one-sided- telephone-conversation similarity. I guess it has just become a fairly common comedy device by now (stand-ups, TV sitcoms...)

Has Newhart ever mentioned a JB influence in this device or otherwise?

Or, while i have never heard it elsewhere in early comedy, was it even then a "public domain" bit?

Alan

[shimp scrampi]

I haven't heard Bob Newhart specifically mention the one-sided phone bits with reference to Jack, but, like nearly every other comedian, I have heard him credit Jack as an influence. Specifically, I recall him paraphrasing the anecdote about Jack in writing sessions, unworried about giving all the gags to Phil, Mary, Dennis, and the supporting cast because "he'd be there next week". It may have been on an NPR interview on "Fresh Air" that re-aired recently. Check npr.org for the Friday, April 29 show.

But, of course that one-sided phone bit as a comedy record goes back to the WWI era "Cohen on the Telephone"! See the thread on that if you want to hear it.

[LLeff]

I hadn't realized the JB one-sided- telephone-conversation similarity. I guess it has just become a fairly common comedy device by now (stand-ups, TV sitcoms...)
Or, while i have never heard it elsewhere in early comedy, was it even then a "public domain" bit?

As mentioned below, the one-sided phone conversation traces its roots back to the beginning of the public availability of telephones. This includes "Cohen on the Telephone", and also the long-running series of George Jessel "monologues" generally called "Hello, Momma". There's a wonderful collection of these put together by Jessel himself in book form.

And speaking of "Hello, Momma", you can also hear some one-sided phone conversations in the mid to late 30s shows when Mary's mother would occasionally CALL from Plainfield as opposed to writing a letter.

[bboswell]

I may be getting a few different programs mixed up, but one that stands out to me was where Jack kept getting congratulatory calls for his first television show. He would always answer in a sing-song voice:

"Hello-ooo... Yes... Thank you, thanks very much. Good byy-yyye"

and then one time the phone rings and...

"Hello-ooo... Yes... I PAID THAT YESTERDAY!!!"

OK I just heard this show again recently, and there is more to this
wonderful one-sided phone conversation. People are calling and congratulating him on his 15th year in radio...

This is how it actually goes:

(SWEET) Helloooo.,.Yes, this is Mr. Benny...What?... I MAILED THAT YESTERDAY...
Oh yeah...well, you can't disconnect it while I'm talking on it...What???
You're up on the pole now? Well, put away those snippers and get down
from there, I told you I mailed it.