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What would Jack say?

This forum is for discussions of the radio and television programs done by Jack Benny
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Postby shimp scrampi » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:30 am

Mary: Jack.... (thinking) Jack...please tell me you don't pilfer that cheese from the mouse traps at the Acme Plaza.
Image
shimp scrampi
 
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Postby Jhammes » Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:53 am

Jack: (sound fx: echo of footsteps) Gee, this vault is so big... so dark... so empty... like when the theater played "The Horn Blows At Midnight"...
Jhammes
 
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Postby mrdj » Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:35 pm

Mary: or ''Artists & Models'', or ''Love Thy Neighbor'', or ''Charley's Aunt'', or ''Man About Town'', or ''Meanest Man in the World'' or... need I go on?
mrdj
 
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Postby Brad from Georgia » Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:02 pm

Ed: Halt! Who goes there, friend, foe, or someone from the Internal Revenue Service?
Image Oh, for heaven's sake!
Brad from Georgia
 
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Postby mrdj » Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:36 pm

Jack: Hello, Ed. It's just me, and the password is Manis-is-schevi-vi-vitz.
mrdj
 
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Postby Clyde » Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:55 pm

Ed: Oh, it's you Mr. Benny! How's everything "out there?" Is the Kaiser still causing a scene??
"Accept Yourself. Respect Others. Live Simply. Relax Daily."
Clyde
 
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Postby Jack Benny » Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:37 pm

Ed: What's that?
Your pal,
Buck Benny

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My OTR Podcast - Each day, OTR shows from exactly 50, 60, and 70 years ago --> http://jack_benny.podomatic.com/
Jack Benny
 
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Postby Jack Benny » Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:39 pm

Jack: Oh, these are people Ed. Remember, there are others besides you and me. This is Mary Livingstone, and Professor LeBlanc.
Your pal,
Buck Benny

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My OTR Podcast - Each day, OTR shows from exactly 50, 60, and 70 years ago --> http://jack_benny.podomatic.com/
Jack Benny
 
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Postby scottp » Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:08 am

Ed: Oh, hello, Miss Livingstone... aren't you a... a...
scottp
 
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Postby shimp scrampi » Fri Mar 31, 2006 10:09 am

Mary: I used to be.
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Postby mrdj » Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:02 pm

Jack: Anyway, Ed, I need to take out some money so I can pay Prof. LeBlanc for my violin lessons.

Ed: Do you want French Francs, US Dollars, or Confederate Dollars?
mrdj
 
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Postby shimp scrampi » Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:09 pm

Jack: Gee, are we all out of wampum?
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Postby mrdj » Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:54 am

Ed: Yes, Mr. Benny. I remember you used the last of that when you bought that blanket from Sitting Bull.
mrdj
 
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Postby Brad from Georgia » Sat Apr 01, 2006 5:25 am

LeBlanc: Please, Meestair Ben-ee--I will take anyzing. Anyzing! I will take zee doll-airs, or zee pe-sos, or zee francs...francs wiz beans...I am so hun-gree!
Image Oh, for heaven's sake!
Brad from Georgia
 
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Postby Maxwell » Sat Apr 01, 2006 6:25 am

Mary: Jack, I don't get it. You've never let anybody into your vault before. Why now?
Putt-Putt-Putt-Cough
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Maxwell
 
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