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by **Clyde** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:08 am

Jack: Well, dollface, I thought it would be nice for Ed if we had four for bridge.

by **scottp** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:26 am

Ed: Say, Mr. Benny, how's that one in Brooklyn coming along?

by **Brad from Georgia** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:23 am

Jack: Oh, it's been finished for a long time, Ed. Thousands of cars drive across it every day.

by **LLeff** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:46 pm

Ed: But....doesn't that frighten the horses?

by **scottp** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:31 am

Rochester (distant shout): Mister Benny... Mister Benny! HEY BOSS! BETTER HURRY AND GET BACK UP HERE!

by **shimp scrampi** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:12 am

Jack: Uh, oh...better see what he wants. Ed, don't forget to get me some numbers on your mushroom farm profits down here. Yipes! ROCHESTER, WHAT'S THAT SMELL?!

by **mrdj** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:23 am

Rochester: Oh, Carmichael! How could you??!!

by **scottp** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:50 pm

Senator Claghorn: Somebody, ah say, somebody--

by **scottp** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:51 pm

Jack: NEVER MIND, Senator... and how did you get down here anyway?

by **shimp scrampi** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:09 pm

Senator Claghorn: Well, pay attention now, boy... I was mindin' my own business, sipping a julep, when of all things - this gas man told me some cock-and-bull story about the skinflintiest feller you ever did hear of, I say, he says this gent has some kind of polar bear and wears a toupe and drives the most broken-down old jalopy you ever did see. Now, in Dixie we don't take kindly to that kind of leg-pullin', so I say, I followed that gas-man down some rickety old staircase...about the only familiar things I did see were some genuine southern gators, but they was missing all kinds of suitcase and shoe-shaped pieces off their backs. Never could understand all that. Then, all of a sudden, a growl and two bites later, the doggone gas-man was gone. Son, I could sure use a belt of somethin'. Can you imagine some kind of baloney-sandwich fellow like that actually existing, bless his heart? And who in the dad-blamed Alabama midnight are you, son?

by **mrdj** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:47 pm

Jack: Just call me Oscar Mayer.

by **Jack Benny** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:36 pm

Le Blanc: Mr. Ed, my money please!

by **Jack Benny** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:38 pm

Ed: Wow, so we can both still talk when Mr. Benny isn't around?

by **Jack Benny** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:39 pm

Jack: (voice from upstairs) Don't you two dare let the word get out! I'll never get Phil or Dennis to shut up, if they know they can still talk when I'm not around!

by **shimp scrampi** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:46 pm

Jack (to himself): Well, I'll let those fellas sort it all out for themselves down in the vault. Gee. Where did everybody go up here? Just a minute ago it was so crowded. And it got dark outside... and rainy. Kinda spooky. Yipes! There's some man, in the shadows out there under the streetlight. Makes me a little nervous. Well, can't play chicken all day long (footsteps) better go over and see who he is. Oh, mister! - mister?!

Man: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS?

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