What would Jack say?

This forum is for discussions of the radio and television programs done by Jack Benny

Postby scottp » Fri Apr 14, 2006 6:27 am

Jack: Oh, aren't you... aren't you... that floorwalker I'm always running into?
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Postby Clyde » Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:48 pm

Frank Nelson: Who do you think I am wearing this carnation in my lapel, a contented cow?
"Accept Yourself. Respect Others. Live Simply. Relax Daily."
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Postby Brad from Georgia » Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:20 am

Jack (Waiting for the laugh to die down): Oh, brother, do we milk these gags or what?
Image Oh, for heaven's sake!
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Postby River Phoenix » Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:59 am

Jack: Now floorwalker, shouldn't you be at the store? Why are you lurking in the shadows outside of my house?
Last edited by River Phoenix on Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby River Phoenix » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:04 am

Frank Nelson: What makes you so important that I'm lurking around your house? You're not the only one with a house in this neighborhood, you know...
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Postby scottp » Mon Apr 17, 2006 6:11 am

Jack: If the City of Beverly Hills wants to post floorwalkers in the neighborhoods, fine... but why do I have to put up with the annoying one?
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Postby Brad from Georgia » Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:10 am

Frank Nelson: Funny...that's exactly what I said when I found out where I'd be posted.
Image Oh, for heaven's sake!
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Postby scottp » Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:15 pm

Little Boy, distant: Oh, there's Mr. Benny over there!
(Murmur of several other boys approaching.)
Mr. Benny, did you forget this was the night of the Beverly Hills Beavers Evening Hike? You were going to show us all the constellations!
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Postby mrdj » Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:44 pm

Jack: No, Stevie, I didn't forget. I promised you a big Hollywood movie star would show you the stars in the sky and that's what I 'll do!

Stevie: And don't forget fellow Beavers, that Mr. Benny taught Galileo all about telescopes and the stars. He would have won a Nobel prize if he didn't decide to take up the violin and become a big movie star.
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Postby LLeff » Mon Apr 17, 2006 5:57 pm

Butch: But that was after he taught Joe Dimaggio how to play ball and meet girls!
--LL
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Postby scottp » Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:13 pm

Frank Nelson: Ohhhhh PUH-LEEZE! I suppose he told you Mad Man Muntz got his degree from the Benny School of Business!
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Postby David47Jens » Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:10 pm

Dennis: My mother warned me never to talk to floorwalkers. She said I could catch something awful. At least... I think she said "floorwalkers"...
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Postby River Phoenix » Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:41 am

Jack: Dennis! What are you doing out here?
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Postby River Phoenix » Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:41 am

Dennis: I'm still waiting to sing happy birthday.
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Postby shimp scrampi » Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:53 pm

Gee, Dennis...I'm sorry, but they charge royalties for that now. Besides, I got a wire from my sister Florence. Turns out it isn't my birthday after all.

Isn't that your mother calling?
Image
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